Lead Balloon
by Myurra-K
Summary: The brothers finally starts to realize just how entwined they are in the strangling threads of Don's carefully woven web. Obsessions and Infatuations are only the beginning of this Insanity, where blood is better spilled than related to. COMPLETE


**ï Lead Balloon ð  
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**+Myurra-Kitty+**

_The Thin Line Of Love And Insanity Is As Thin As A Spider's Web_

_~`;'~_

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Death. It was an estranged act to someone who wasn't familiar with it. But after years of fighting and killing, he was most certainly familiar with it. In fact, he enjoyed experiencing it. In order to feel closer to himself, he felt he had to be pushed to the ends of his wits. To feel that burning in his chest as he was deprived of oxygen, to see his vision blurring as his eyes started closing, to feel the strange mix of pressure, pleasure and pain as fingers wrapped tightly around his throat, strangling him.

Death was a strange act to people who weren't familiar with it. He was certainly familiar with it.

The concept of people having a bond was; for most people, two or more beings who were close to one another, experiencing intimacies that no one would provide for a stranger. But he knew, all it took was simply one who was willing to be hurt, and another willing to cause that pain. He wasn't afraid of someone dying because of his actions, at least as long as that person wanted to die. Two profiles that fit perfectly, interlocking and moulding to one another as though there was nothing barraging the way. That is what he needed. That is what everyone needed.

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Lead Balloon

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Mikey strolled through the lair, looking for something to do. He couldn't find it though, the thought of a means of entertainment eluded him. He wanted something to do, his eyes set on Donnie who was working at the table, sipping tea at the same time. Smiling he approached, stopping when he noticed the bruises marring the other turtle's neck.

He didn't know if he was about to say something, anything, or even just turn away. That was until his violet-clad brother looked up, meeting his eyes. Smiling a forced smile, Mikey walked foreword and took a seat beside his brother. His eyes kept going back to the blotched bruises and the cuts. Though he dare not ask.

"So Don, you comin out with me tonight? Sneakin topside, you in?" Mikey spoke extaticly, his eagerness making him bound slightly in his seat. His constant movements both annoyed and intrigued his scientific brother. Don sighed, eyes turning to the youngest turtle.

"Sorry Mikey, your sneaking topside on your own tonight. Unless you want to take Raph with you." Don spoke. Seeing the dissapointment on Mikey's face, he felt his stomach tug with guilt. "I'll go with you another time, Splinter's making me train with Leo." Don lied, trying his best to placate his younger brother. Mikey nodded, the smile back on his face.

Mikey bit his lip, ready to ask about the bruises. Don noticed, and sent him a cold stare. Mikey's spine tingled, and he quickly excused himself, leaving the kitchen hastily. Don sighed again, allowing his tea-cup to clunk against the table and ting against his wrenches, not minding about the mess.

Why did he have to be in such a predicament?

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Leo was most definitely jealous of the relationship Mikey and Donnie had with each other. Donnie wouldn't harm Mikey if his life depended on it. And in turn, Mikey was always trying to help the other, keep him company, make a tense situation a light-hearted one with some of his comments. But it wasn't Don that he was jealous of, it was Mikey.

Don seemed to be the only one that understood him. The only one that he felt truly admired him. Mikey couldn't care less if Leonardo spent years in training and came back as the most superior fighter in the universe. All he cared about was having his brothers with him. They were a family, yes, but they were also a team. Don was the only one that understood his need for intensive training. And in turn for his understanding, and his consideration, he was there for Don. There for his younger brother to do whatever he wished with. Even if that included dying.

Now, he was sitting beside Mikey on the lounge, both of them watching as Don followed a hotheaded Raph into the Dojo. He could see the look on Mikey's face. Don was distancing himself a lot lately, but Leo knew it was a good thing.

He wasn't being selfish, it had nothing to do with Don spending more time with him than Mikey. It was because Don was unstable. At least in upper terms. Down here, they all knew it would happen to one of them. But from the look in Mikey's eyes, he knew that the youngest turtle was figuring it out. Figuring out what his admirable brother's actions were leading to. They had all seen the bruises.

Mikey stood, going to his room. Leo watched his youngest brother, knowing that it must be hard for him, seeing Don like this. He did, however, realise he felt no pity or sympathy for the other. In his eyes, it was Mikey's fault anyway.

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"Get lost Don." Raph growled. The addressed brother however, did not move. He simply stood, watching as Raph squared off with the training dummy. To the red-clad brother, the smart turtle didn't seem so smart all of a sudden. He waited for Don to leave, but the sound of exiting footsteps never came.

"I need this, so I don't hurt someone." Don spoke, barely above a whisper. Raph looked up at him, a slight glare in his eyes.

"Don't you think it's a bit late for that?" Raph growled. Don twitched, eyes grazing across each lit candle in the room as he spoke.

"I haven't touched anyone." the other turtle tried to reason. Raph turned to face him, fists and teeth clenched. Don didn't flinch, hoping Raph would fall through

"Get out."

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Mikey sat on his bed, knees to his chest and arms wrapped around them, holding them tightly to his torso. He watched, wide eyed, as Don entered his room, bloodied and battered. Well, slightly battered. He looked flustered, but what scared Mikey most was the blood.

"It's not mine, Mikey." Don spoke, a faint smile on his face. The younger brother heaved a sigh, looking up at him.

"Dude, seriously, who'd ya kill?" Mikey asked, a small joke turned the air serious as Don frowned. Folding his arms, Don's eyes narrowed at his younger brother. Mikey noticed and flinched. He was about to say that he was only joking, when Don interrupted.

"No one." he stated. Mikey opened his mouth, but the usually quiet brother spoke up first. "Anyway I just came up here to check on you, Leo said you walked off earlier." Don said, turning around and going for the door.

"Where are you going?" Mikey asked, slightly upset. Usually Don stayed in his room longer, talked to him, looked at his drawings. Mikey would have helped him clean up too, he didn't want Splinter finding blood on everything.

"Leo needs a patch up." was all Don said for an excuse. Switching the light switch without checking if Mikey was tired, he uttered a 'goodnight' before leaving. Mikey shivered, laying down. The temperature in his room was colder than normal, but he didn't even bother with the covers. Curled into himself, he lay awake that night. The first time he went an entire night without sleep for at least three years.

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"If you were anyone else, I wouldn't have a problem." Raph muttered as Don passed by him that morning. The younger didn't give any response, continuing to his lab where Leo was still being healed. Raph watched as Don entered, casting a stone look towards him as the metal door closed behind him.

Falling back against the wall, he placed his hand over his face, spreading his fingers to peer through them. He wished he had just done what Don had asked of him that night, Leo wouldn't be needing such an intense patch up if he did. There is no way Splinter wont notice the damage to Don's skin, the gauze and stitches to Leo's. Then a thought hit him.

What about Mikey? Did he even know about all this?

Speaking of which, the hyper teen was coming towards him, only he wasn't so hyper. Raph stopped him as the younger was about to pass by him. Mikey's skin was pale, his eyes were lethargic and he had dark bruises under his eyes like he hadn't slept. He probably didn't. He appeared lost.

"Mike, you alright there bro?" Raph questioned, his hands on either one of his younger brother's shoulders. He noticed Mikey wasn't wearing his orange bandanna, something he usually noticed first. The other nodded to him, before continuing to the Dojo. Without eating.

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"How did Leo get hurt?" Splinter asked, eying his three other sons who were kneeling before him.

Usually his suspicions would lie with Raphael for the reason that Leonardo would be hurt so bad. But his injuries were different this time. For one, Raphael never strangled him. Another was that Raphael knew when to stop, as soon as Leonardo's skin broke and he started to bleed, that was when the hot-headed brother knew that enough was enough.

His second suspicions would be Michelangelo, but the other was too kind hearted to do that. Also, he didn't appear to be in such good contition himself that day. Donatello was the only other one in the line. He seemed unaffected by all this, and was the one treating Leonardo. Their leader was apparently good to go by tomorrow morning.

"Michelangelo, do you know why Leonardo is injured?" the old rat queeried. Mikey shook his head.

"No, master." the younger turtle croaked.

"May I say you do not look well. You are dismissed, I will have Donatello look you over when we are done here." Master Splinter declaired, watching as the weary turtle stumbled to his feet and exited. He noticed that Donatello looked worried now.

So he does not care for Leonardo's injured state, yet he worries for his younger brother?

"Donatello!" the elder roared. Raphael and the adressed turtle both jumped at his sudden volume and anger. Donatello especially.

"y-yes master?" he spoke quietly, timidly. Splinter glared. He wasn't confident. Could his pure son really be guilty of harming another of his own brothers?

"Explain the reason for Leonardo's injuries." he demanded. Raph tensed beside him, speaking up.

"It's my fault, Donnie never meant to harm our brother. I take the punishment for his provoked actions."

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"Mikey?" Donnie cooed softly, watching as the youngest uncurled. He smiled sadly at his brother's state, guessing it may have had something to do with him. He cupped his hands around the teen's tear-streaked face.

"Who?" Mikey managed, barely a croak. "Who hurt you?" he asked finally, fingers going to the bruises around his brother's neck. Don flinched, but accepted the touch nonetheless.

"I did." was all Don said in reply. Mikey nodded, not understanding fully but knowing he would eventually.

Silence stretched between them for the longest of times, Mikey gently crying to himself while Don watched over him. Just as Don used to do when Mikey was kept awake by his nightmares. His brother would sit in that same chair beside his bed and just keep his company until he managed to cry himself to sleep. Sometimes Don would have fallen asleep before him. Other times, Mikey woke up with a blanket covering him, and occasionally Don would be beside him. Close to him. Chasing away the shadows.

"I seen Raph come out of the Dojo earlier. His arms had long welts across them, from his elbows to his knuckles. Who did that to him?" Mikey asked, knowing full well Raph wouldn't do that to himself. It was almost physically impossible to practically give yourself cane or whip marks.

"Master Splinter punished him." was all Don said. Mikey was getting frustrated with all these half answers he was getting from his brother.

"Why?"

"Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to." Don replied. Mikey's face twisted with hurt, and Don felt himself twitch. His need to hurt was so bad right now, seeing that vulnerable and innocent look on his brother. The need to mark him, murder him, it was becoming unbearable. Dangerous.

Donnie stayed where he was, trying to restrain himself from doing something stupid. But he knew he couldn't for much longer. Finally, giving up on his restraints, he stood. He didn't want to, no, he couldn't want to hurt Mike. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Mikey.

"Donatello…" Mikey started. His use of his brother's full name startled said turtle. After recovering from the shock, knowing that this must be serious, he frowned, nodding.

"Yes, Mike?" he asked. Mikey smiled, his eyes closed as he lay down, covers off.

"You still chase the shadows away."

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Raph's eyes went straight to Don as he entered the room without knocking. He smiled weakly, knowing what was coming next. Don stood before him, without saying a word. Raph sighed, forgetting the treatment to his injured hands.

"Where to start?" Don asked, his voice cold. Raph recognised that voice, he only used it when there was no other choice unless they wanted someone dead. Probably Mikey.

"Where we usually do." Raph said gruffly, shoving the smaller body against the wall. Don lost his breath, making Raph smirk. Leaning foreword, he stared straight into Don's now emotional eyes. Raph's large hands winding their way around Don's throat, squeezing.

Don started to gain a little too much colour to his face, his mouth open but no air rushing in or out. A small gasp was all he could make, as Raph finally let him go. Kneeling beside his now collapsed brother, Raph shook his head. How could he keep doing this?

"Don, why do you never hurt me?" Raph asked, his hand rubbing Don's shell as the other finally caught his breath.

"Because I'm afraid that I wont be able to stop. Leonardo can make me stop, but you…" Don stated, leaving it open to interpretation. Raph made a sound in the back of his throat akin to a scoff but sounded closer to a growl.

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"Here, I'm going to clean you up." Mikey stated to Leo who had a new series of injuries. The leader flinched away from his youngest brother, glaring over at Donnie who was sitting on the cold concrete, staring at his hands.

Mikey knew now that it was Donnie doing it, he had witnessed Donnie doing it himself. He also figured out that Raph had been trying to help Don cope with his homocidal side by bringing Don closer to death. Raph was the only one who understood Don's need to experience the verge of life and death, the only one who could safely deliver the blows of pain. What Mikey wanted to know was why he was the only one not being physically hurt.

"Don't touch me." Leo snarled, swatting Mikey away. The persistant male sighed to himself, taking up the moist wash cloth and attempting to dab at the bleeding wounds across his brother's skin. This time, Leo's hand came up and struck him, making him fall to the ground.

Mikey cried out quietly, but was rather surprised to see Don standing before him, back turned and gripping his Bo Staff ready to attack Leo again. He tried, the ball-end of the staff dipping low, the top angled towards the leader. Leo ducked, swerving away from it.

By now Raph and Splinter were also out, the welts on Raph's arms were new, raw compared to the ones he had received a couple of days ago. Mikey still watched, stunned as Don attempted to strike Leo once again.

It all happened so fast. Leo gripped the staff, yanking it from the smart turtle's hands and tossing it harshly away. Don yelped as Leo gripped his shoulders, pulling him foreword. Next thing Mikey knew, the scene of his brother's kissing was before his eyes, Leo bringing them into an embrace. He stood, running off and going to his room where he could sort himself out.

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"Why do you let me hurt you all the time, Leo? Why do you want me to…" Don started. His words were silenced as Leo's hand covered his mouth gently. They were walking around the sewers, but it seemed they had hardly distanced themselves from the lair's entrance the slightest.

"I envy you and Mikey. You have something that I wish I could share, but I know now that I can't. Violence is like a sort of intimacy, both victim and abuser have to be on a similar level to fully understand what is going on. When you hurt me, I feel like I can see the real you. Like I'm closer to you." Leo spoke. Don was silent, absorbing the words. "_He_ doesn't know the real you."

"You hurt Mikey." Don hissed. Leo nodded, looking down to his hands.

"I know." Leo spoke. He wasn't sorry though. He didn't dislike Mikey, but he envied him too much for his own good. Envy was like a sickness, pain was like a drug. There was something wrong with this entire thing. Hurting Mikey was his only escape from all this. Hopefully, more people will get hurt before this thing ends. It was the only way to make it end completely, unfortunately.

"I can't forgive you for that." Don said. Leo remembered hands around his throat, this time they weren't forgiving. They weren't merciful, fingers bruising his sensitive skin and grip blocking his airway. And he welcomed it. He allowed himself to go with it this time. His hands gripped Donnie's shoulders as he felt his chest burn, his throat cane and his blood slowly cease the pounding in his temples. His heart's thud was almost diminished. Don leant over, pressing one last kiss to Leo's unresponsive lips, breathing in Leo's last struggled exhale.

The turtle fell limp, and it was then Donatello realised what he had done. Even though Leo had welcomed it, set it up so that his death was so, he was still the one to bring death to his brother. He couldn't stop the sobs that left his mouth as tears flowed unchallenged down his face. What scared him the most was the brief thought that appeared in his mind as Leo's life drained.

_I wish this was Mikey._

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"Don's obsessed with you, ya know that right?" Raph spoke, watching as Mikey curled into himself even more. Sighing irritably, he watched as Mikey looked back up at him, seemingly with purpose. Though his eyes held a frightening revelation.

"Is all this…because of me?" the frightened turtle asked. Ever since Don had left with Leo for a walk, Raph had been keeping him company in his room after Splinter caned him once across the knuckles with his walking stick for starting a fight between his brothers. Raph had thought it was harsh, but stayed silent about it. Turning to Mikey now, the other looked awake with knowledge, scary knowledge. Only now he was working things out.

"Because of Donnie's obsession with you is more like it." Raph said, watching Mikey tense. Normally he would feel bad for Mikey, but he just couldn't bring himself to feel it. Not after what he seen Leo do today. Sensei had told them to go for a walk to think about what they just did and how it affected Michelangelo. Why was everything about Mikey these days?

"I'm so, so sorry." Mikey sobbed, clutching at his pillow. Raph rolled his eyes, finally feeling some sympathy for his brother. Sitting beside the youngest turtle, he slung a lazy and heavy arm over the small-frame shoulders. He opened his mouth to say something, when a loud yell came from downstairs. Don.

"RAPH! MASTER SPLINTER!" Don called. Mikey stayed put, not going anywhere unless Don asked. Raph gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze as he stood, exiting the room. Raph gave a strangled yell of anguish as Splinter started trashing things.

Mikey jumped as his door fell open, Don rushing in. Mike jumped up, eyeing his brother's pale appearance with caution. Don's eyes focussed on his blue ones, before glancing down at his bleeding knuckles.

"Splinter…" he breathed.

"MIKEY, DON'T GO NEAR DON! HE'S LOST IT!!!" Raph yelled, running down the hall. He peered into the room, blanching when he seen Don and Mike sitting near each other. Mikey frowned.

"What are you talking about?"

"He killed Leo! He was babbling bullshit about killing you!"

Now Mikey was really scared. Don usually chased away the shadows, suddenly he felt as though Don was bringing all those shadows back to him. Those unwanted shadows. He didn't like them, he wanted them to leave him be. Crying out in pain, he covered his head with his hands. He wanted them to go away.

Don growled, shoving past Raph. Both had tears in their eyes, but Don was crying more. The difference was that Raph looked panicked, Don looked set on revenge. Raph followed Don out of the room, locking Mikey in his when he left.

Alone.

That's what he was now. Locked in a cage, all alone with nothing and no one to keep him company. Spinning towards his own internal manifestation of sins and despair, this was added to the top of the list. What was he supposed to do now? His brother was nuts.

He would always accept Don, even if he really did kill Leonardo. Mikey froze, the realisation hitting him like a tone of bricks from nowhere. Donatello, his brother Donatello, had murdered Leonardo. His oldest brother and their leader. WHY?! Was it because he thought or wished it was him? Why Leo?!

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"Splinter please, Don's fine. Leo probably asked him to do it." Raph tried to defend. He was no longer doing this for Don. He was doing this for Mikey. The poor teen was lost, in his room and crying. Scared. Alone. He hated leaving his brothers in any one of those states let alone all at once.

"Your just like Leo. Pretend Donatello Hamato is alright and just continue living the way we were until he snaps, right? Donatello's a strong ninja, he can overcome this right?" he sneered, his hands raising. Untieing the purple headband, he threw it at his brother. "Well here, you can keep your brother 'Don' because I don't want him back." he snarled, standing.

"Donatello! Stay where you are until I am finished with you! Do you realise what you have done? You have frightened your youngest brother, forced Raphael to harm you which has caused him emotional stress. On top of that, he takes your punishment. And then, on top of that still, you killed your own brother!" the angry rat yelled, clacking the end of his cane on the ground. Tears were running down his face as he admitted these things. To think one of his sons could do such things, he never would have guessed it so.

"And you, you hurt Mikey." Donnie spoke, turning and facing his adoptive father. He had clearly ignored everything that Master Splinter had just said. "Leo was the last person to harm Mikey." Donatello stated, leaving the threat out in the open.

Raph's eyes widened. This really was an obsession with the youngest brother. Now he really feared for Mikey. Raph didn't move as Donnie reached across to the rack of weapons, bringing up a katana that had once belonged to Leo many years ago before he left for training. He still remained still as Master Splinter kneeled, closing his eyes and chanting a small prayer before his forthcoming death.

"Goodbye, father. Have a safe journey."

Raising the Katana above his head, Don gripped it tighter, before dropping it from his grasp. His eyes glazed over, and he seemed to be waiting for something. Raph heard every tang as the metal struck the ground as though it was repeating like a film in his head.

"See how easy it is to convince people there is something wrong? It's just as easy to convince people there is something right. Let's just all pretend Donatello Hamato's fine." Don rambled, walking around the trembling form of his adoptive father. Raph growled, moving to go to their Sensei. A sudden strike hit him in the stomach, making him go backwards.

He landed on the ground with a sharp pain striking up his spine as he twisted it. Everything was comfortably silent, he couldn't hear anything, even though he could see Splinter was talking, and Don was kicking the katana away. He noticed everything, his gaze spinning around the room as though he was upside down in the air, but still on his back on the ground. He noticed the way the flinders in the air moved as the occupants of the room breathed out. The way the candles flickering cast ghastly shadows across Don's face. Suddenly, his hearing came back, right in time to hear Donnie speak.

"Now do you see, Raph?" Donatello asked, kneeling before his older brother. Don outstretched a hand, bringing it to Raphael's throat. Raphael nodded, ripping his hand away from Don's grip. Don watched Raph do so, frowning. Raph glared, standing and backing away, gripping his Sais.

"I see that you are psychotic. You need help, Don. I'm taking Mikey with Splinter and myself to April's. You wait here." Raph spoke, a chill going down his spine. Brandishing a Sai and pointing it directly towards his brother. Using his free arm, he helped his father up, flicking his hand in a motion towards the door.

"Anywhere Mikey goes, I go too." Don stated, standing completely still, indifferent expression on his face. Raph swallowed, how was he supposed to get Mikey away from Don? Backing out of the room, he watched as Don blinked everything away.

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"You go." Mikey stated. Raph stared, wide eyed. Mikey looked down, folding his hands. "You go and stay there. Live somewhere else, Raph. With Casey maybe. But not here." Mikey advised. Raph couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"What about you? Don's obsessed with you! I don't know what pushed him over the edge, but he aint comin back to us, Mike!"

"He only wants me. And I'm fine with that. Don wont hurt me, he doesn't want to hurt me." Mikey stated calmly. Raph's hands gripped his shoulders, shaking him.

"Are you really that stupid? This entire thing is because he's got this weird obsession with you, yes. But he wants you dead, he wants to kill you! He said that he imagined it was you he was strangling when he killed Leo!" Raph shook him again. "He wants to kill you…don't you…understand." Raph started sobbing, pressing his forehead to Mikey's.

The younger turtle stayed where he was. His arms wrapped around his brother, unsure of what to make of the situation. How could he explain to Raph what exactly it was that Don needed?

"Raph…Just because Don wants to hurt me, doesn't mean he will. Because his want is more of a subconscious desire, his 'want' is for me to be safe."

"Jesus christ, Mikey you can't subject yourself to that!" Raph exclaimed, holding himself back from shaking Mikey. The younger turtle pulled back, a determined look on his face. "…Mikey, Don killed Leo. You can't stay here with that." Raph demanded.

Mikey sat completely still, saying nothing. He wasn't sure what to say, what could he say? There was more to this entire thing, and most of it Raphael didn't understand. Most of it he was still comprehending, but all of it only involved him and Don, no one else. Frowning, Mikey clenched his hands harder than he needed to.

"Raph, seriously, just leave. Right now." Mikey hissed, the breath coming through his teeth sharply. It took a few seconds, before Raph finally scoffed, standing to leave. Mikey didn't meet his eyes, he just stared solidly ahead as though there wasn't anything that could make him look up.

"Just for the record, when I go, I'm not coming back." Raph hissed, hurt that Mikey wouldn't listen to him or allow him to care for him.

"Raph..." he spoke quietly, waiting for the reply. When Raph grunted in response, he finished. "...Even if you aren't Don, you still chase my shadows away." Raph's brow creased before his hand went to the door knob. He couldn't help but be plagued to the difference in that sentence to the way he used to say it to Don. He always said 'the' shadows to Don, not 'my' shadows. Mikey sighed as Raph finally left the room, his door slamming with a thunk.

"Good riddance." a voice came from behind him. Mikey could have sworn that if he had hair, it would be standing on end right about now. Turning around, he was met by the sight of Donatello who sat beside him, wringing his hands together.

"Don, I…" Mikey started, before his older brother silenced him with a hand over his mouth.

"I came to say that I'm sorry. I know that words can never fix what I did, Mikey, and I understand if you wish to leave with Raph, in fact I recommend it." the purple-clad turtle murmured, before leaning on his hands, only to hiss from a straining pain in his arms.

"Don, are you alright?" Mikey asked, taking Don's hands within his own. The older of the two looked at his brother with questioning eyes as his injuries were inspected. "What happened?"

"I accepted punishment for my actions." Don muttered, his eyes hardening. Mikey felt tears sting his eyes. How could Splinter do this to his own sons?! How?!

They were silent for a moment while Mikey contemplated what he should do. The horisontal welts across Don's arms made his stomach churn as he thought about the possibilities of any actions he could take. Don sat completely till beside him, Mikey could have sworn his eyes went to Don just to check if he was still alive every once and a while.

Sitting beside one another, Mikey eventually let gravity pull him back onto the bed. For the first time in several months, he slept comfortably, a warm presence beside him the entire time.

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At first, Mikey thought he should at least feel disgusted with himself for not really being that bothered about Leo's sudden death, or murder as Raph had put it. He was more concerned with Splinter's disciplin of Don. It seemed that his older brother had noticed Mikey's deep thought the next day, seeing as he approached his younger brother with little caution.

Raph was still there, he was packing awfully slowly and trying to convince Mikey to come every now and then. All his attempts at persuading Mikey were quickly foiled by Don, who always came right when he was about to make progress.

Once again, the red-clad turtle watched as Donatello approached the seated Michaelangelo, who had his chin resting in his palm in thought. Even though he was seated on the lounge, Raph could clearly see the kitchen, and the kitchen table of which Mikey was seated at.

He watched as Don's hands came to Mikey's shoulders, carfully squeezing and rubbing as Mikey relaxed back against him. Raph had to hold down the sickning feeling in his stomach at the sight, turning around and glaring at the television even though it wasn't turned on. He hadn't seen Splinter come out of his room since the incident yesterday, and for some unknown reason he was glad for that.

He could hear Don and Mikey speaking in hushed tones, and pointedly ignored what his younger brothers were saying. Whatever it was, he didn't want to know. Instead, he opted to watching the blank television screen even longer.

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Waking up to a pungent smell, Raph blearily blinked the fogginess from his eye-sight. He couldn't see anything, there was a great absence of light. It was a strange thing considering that the cave or 'lair' as his family preferred to call it always had lights on. It was naturally dark there, not an ounce of natural light in the place. So to have every single artificial light out in the lair was a tad over creepy.

Once again, his nose picked up a familiar smell that made his throat constrict and a gag to force its way through his airway. Covering his nose and mouth, he blindly felt his way toward the cold, rocky walls of the lair. His arms flailed widely in an attempt to find some sort of switch. His eyes weren't _that_ adjusted to the darkness, despite living in a sewer.

Finally he found his way to the wall, but it seemed that the smell was stronger than ever. The disgust wouldn't drain, in fact he could feel it manifesting in his gut. He continued, finding his way into a large, cold room. At first, he didn't think there was anything there and that he may have found his way into the kitchen, but that was until he tripped over a barbell, propped up from the weights on the end. The cold metal scraped his feet as he landed on his plastron.

Taking a moment to breathe, he noticed the smell seize up his nasal passage, the gagging sensation suddenly became too great as he scuffled away. His hand brushed something wet, and before he could figure out what it was, the familiar stench finally registered as cold, brutal death. Something he encountered often after cleaning up after the Foot Clan.

At first, he panicked. The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was Mikey and Don in the kitchen. If this _was_ the kitchen…

"Mikey!" Raph shouted, scrambling to his feet and finding the wall. Feeling along it, he desperately searched for a switch. Finally, his large hand brushed something and lights flickered. The first thing he seen was the barbell that he had tripped over, more and more of them scattered across the floor. They were in the dojo.

Raph felt nothing as he stared at the body on the ground. The old rat was curled loosely around a wooden katana; something that, if memory served correct, meant a lot to him. The blood spilled from a single wound in his stomach, the wooden katana almost completely to the hilt was buried within the thin frame.

Splinter had taken the liberty of his death into his own hands. His eyes were closed, and he looked peaceful. It hadn't taken long for him to notice, but eventually he did. On the ground, awkward words were scrawled in the cold crimson liquid, reading;

_Never Hurt Mikey_

Raph felt his stomach sink at the words written in blood. And for once, he fully understood the extent of his brother's madness. His infatuation and Mikey's naivety. The reason why Leo was so jealous and had purposely hurt Mikey. The reason why Master Splinter had taken his own life, and left that last final warning.

And maybe that was the reason why he had never understood until now, when everything was lain out for him to read between the lines. Because he had never felt the things that everyone else had until now. Why hadn't he felt it? Why hadn't he seen it? The spider-web thin line he had long ago crossed.

Why hadn't he seen what had become of his brother, Donatello? The game he had been playing…

Love _really can _make people to insane things.

-

_

* * *

_

-

Sitting in the dark confines of the attic-space of April and Casey's apartment, Raphael carefully wound a string in an intricate pattern around his fingers, playing a game he had long ago been taught by Mikey from his ventures topside. An album was settled on his lap, the moonlight beaming through the crescent-shaped window and lighting his indifferent features. Maneuvering the string into a pattern that formed a sort of web, he held it up into the air.

The moonlight cast a spider-web shadow across Raph's face, his eyes sliding closed. He stayed completely still for the moment, concentrating on his breathing. A slight buzzing sound made his skin prickle, and moments later, he tugged on the spider-web string, a knot forming in the very centre.

Caught in the knot, a fly ceased all movement as the buzzing sound drawled away into a dead-pan whine, stuck in the web until it eventually ceases to exist. And with that whine, something carried with the wind, a very familiar voice.

_'Even if your not Don, you still chase my shadows away.'  
_

"What did you mean by that, little brother?" he spoke outloud, before laughing bitterly to himself. When he had said 'the shadows' whenever he said the same thing to Don, he literally meant shadows. When he said 'my shadows' when he was talking to Raph, he literally meant his shadow.

He literally meant Don was his shadow.

Once again, another bitter, self loathing laugh passed his lips. How could he have not known what Mikey was saying when he said that, how could he have not heard the silent plea in those words. The plea to be saved from their brother. How could he have not heard the begging to be saved from Don, to be taken away. Mikey had practically begged for help, and he had missed it.

All Raph could do was think of how ironic it was that he felt exactly like that fly, caught in that string as it's buzzing finally drowned out into the silence of the night.

-

* * *

-

Falling, drowning,

deeper and forever

Choking, sinking,

deeper into this ocean

Screaming,

Crying for someone to save me

Reaching, hoping,

Calling to no-one.

My only sin

Was to kill a brother

Deep was my pain

But I'd do it again

Beat it out

Out of me

Cut me up and watch me bleed

Strike me down

Cast me out

Throw me into the ocean's mouth

~Grace Unhearing / My Dying Bride

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* * *

-

**A/N:** Yeah, this is my first TMNT fic, and it is nothing like what the rest of them will be like. This was just an idea I couldn't get out of my head. It's rated T because of the content and the implications I have written. It was meant to have a slight creepy side to it but I 'think' I failed at that. Anyway I had this basic idea and I couldn't find any other category that I write for that fit it because of the 'brothers' prospective I was attempting to gain. I also needed it to fade from the main two prospects and into a third prospect as it did here. I do also hope you all understood the concept of the fly in the end of the story.

Please Review, they really make my day.

~MK


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